Boy or Girl? that is the question.

I wanted to take the time to let you all know that I am pregnant. I found out on the 2nd of December but have been a little anxious to say anything as the last 2 pregnancies ended shortly after I found out in miscarriages. I will officially go for my first doctors visit on the 28th but I have had several blood draws to make sure things are going good with this pregnancy. I am so excited and surprised that I am pregnant as we used ovulation kits and I never saw a day when the test said I was ovulating. So I just assumed that I would need to go to the doctor to get looked at for possible low hormone levels. Then on an odd, feeling one day at the store I bought a pregnancy test and headed in to the bathroom to see the results. The whole time I expect to see negative because the last 100 were lol. So when i saw two lines I just assumed I read the box wrong and that it was negative if there wasn't a plus sign, I literally did a double take at the box when I looked to see I was pregnant. But for those of you who have been down the road of miscarriage you know that this is just the beginning of a nervous and sometimes anxious rode. I will try to keep updates on the blog here of my pregnancy for those who are interested. I have chosen not to tell my family about the news until we are certain things will be okay. Wish me luck as we prepare for our 4th little one in the beginning of August.

Finally at home in Hawaii

Well, it took quite a long time to get to this point. A point which I might add, I wasn't sure I was going to ever be at. I graduated the LPN program, we made it back to Hawaii and we got brand new housing here for the first time ever! My mother was so kind to fly over my two dogs for me in November . Daisy and Stella are doing great over in the warm weather. The boys have been thru alot this year , but have managed to show that resilient nature kids have by hanging in there thru all the school changes and housing moves we went thru in the past 2 months. I am so very proud of them. As some of you know I suffered a miscarriage back in September and have been unable to get pregnant again so we are still hoping for a girl down the road. All things come when your ready to handle them so I am patient. I am starting to get my resume and childcare lined up for Wyatt so I can start my career as a nurse. I am excited about getting into this new field and hope I will find a spot in OB department. I have thought about going back to school for my bsn in nursing and possible a specialize in midwifery. The moment we landed here , my soul felt at ease, that's when I knew that I was going to have to live here. I truly love Hawaii, and my husband feels the same way about it , I am so happy that we can finally make this a reality for us.

Fustrations of moving....

As usual, Chon failed to tell me until now that we might not be able to accompany him to Hawaii at first. Apparently we have to wait for them to send back our (ecceptional family member program) EFMP screening before we can be put on his orders. And of course no one knows how long that will take, but we are supposed to leave here by the end of July. On top of all that if we dont get to move its up to me to find a place to stay, enroll the boys in school, and wait in the states for an answer from them. grrr. I'm not sure why I stress out, you would think after 15years of doing this I would be used to it but they are always changing things on me... very stressful. So while I am battling with the movers over getting me on the orders to go, my house is under seige from my AC unit which has a clog in the drain pipe somwhere and is backing up in my house bad... it started out as a little bit but now has progressed to the living room . After a week with no one coming to help Ive taken it upon myself to fix the leak. having failed at removing the clog I invented an alternate route for the water drain. And the best part is ...its working! Now on to tackling my nclex test and moving to my future home.

Moving time again

As July nears its time to wrap up yet another base tour. We came to Ft. Benning with tons of plans to do stuff and get things done, but ended up working like dogs... Chon spent many countless days getting up at 4am and coming home from work at 11pm only to get back up and go back in at 4am the next day. He spent weeks gone training soldiers and missed out on holidays, birthdays, and other important events. I went into the nursing program with every intention that it was going to be easy and time would fly by and I could be done and bring in some extra cash for the family. 1 year later and many late nights studying and stressing out I ended that journey of my life. I had to sacrifice time spent with my children but always promised myself I would make it up to them with a vacation. Finally we got the news that it was time to move again. I look back at the time spent here in Georgia and wonder how on earth we did it. We struggled , we cried, we argued, we laughed and we loved. So now its time to say goodbye to whats been our home for 4 years now. The kids have watched friends come and go, and are looking forward to moving to hawaii. For Antonio its a homecoming. He was born there and is looking forward to living there again. As for me , I'm going there with mixed feelings, I love Hawaii and I am looking forward to going as well , I always like a change. But I know that with this move comes a deployment for my husband to Iraq. When we arrive in September he will have to leave shortly after to Iraq for a year. Although I am hopeful that he will come back safe and sound there is never a guarentee. So what will this new move bring for me? for my family? Only God knows....

Birthday for my oldest

My oldest son just turned 11. Its been a rough road so far, he's had some setbacks. But he is so smart and intelligent. He has my personality and at times I see me when I was his age. The biggest difference is that unlike girls who want a beautiful birthday cake with tons of friends over and a nice party with tons of gifts, my son just wanted brownies instead of cake, only 2 friends to go to the pool with and cash for gifts instead of presents. He makes my job so easy.... I'm so glad I'm getting to see him grow up and be a part of it.

Not quite not pregnant.. but okay with the loss.

After describing my entire embarrasing story about my mucous and not starting and the negative tests to my OB instructor if was concluded that I did indeed ovulate on the 18th as predicted and the ovum was fertilized but due to my unuasally high fever of 102.8 the embryo was unable to attach to the uterine lining to implant. So essentially she said I had a misscarrage. I'm okay with that because I know that high fevers during the first few weeks often lead to neural tube defects in infants and therefore I feel it was a good thing that things worked out this way. We are going to try again this next few months and cross our fingers for girls!

stress, stress and more stress!

Its been so hectic here that I've hardly found time to breath let alone clean or sleep. We are going to classes 5 days a week now and are doing another one online. We've got papers due everyday and we are going to different places every day. To top off the month, I'm a week late for my monthly gift and after chewing off all my nails in anticipation( we are using a book to choose the gender thing) of possibly being pregnant, I was left with a negative in the window. Ive taken about 3 and still have not started my period and I'm usually on time , Ive never been this late ever.... so I went to the clinic and I should find out tomorrow what the blood tests says, I'm posting this on here because I have chosen to keep this matter private from family and I know they never read this lol. Any suggestions on what it could be causing this miss? I am thinking it could be stress, but Ive had stress now for a while so I'm ruling that out, next up would be cervical cancer, since Ive had a leap in the past and failed to keep up with annuals once I got into the program. Just too much going on right now and no answers to anything ... its killing me.